Second Chances
by eclare223
Summary: Eli and Clare aren't exactly used to second chances, but when they can't stay away from each other anymore is there really any other way to go? It leads up to the frostville promo. Sooo excited!
1. Missing Him

**I don't know what this is… maybe a one shot? I don't even know. I based it off the tiny promo they gave us about eclare at frostville. Do you know that part when you see Eli walking down the hallway and then Clare turns around to look at someone? That's what I'm basing it off of. If you don't know what I'm talking about you can read anyway or look it up on youtube. I think there's about 1-3 different promos revolving on the same thing. Hope you like it **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the characters, etc.**

_Clare's P.O.V._

I let out a long breath as I wrote down the different ideas the model U.N. had come up with right before lunch. Mr. Perino's classroom was empty. I waited impatiently for the bell to ring so the whole group could reassemble and I wouldn't feel so lonely. I'd been feeling a lot of that lately. I don't even know why. I'm finally getting used to the idea of having a step-dad, Jake and I are getting along, I see my dad every other day, and I'm friends with Alli again. But _why_ do I feel so isolated? This is the reason I agreed to help Alli with Model U.N. I can't stand the idea of sitting in my room… alone…waiting. I don't even know what I usually wait for. More like _who_ I usually wait for. I squeezed my eyes shut as I cut off my thoughts. Don't even think it, I told myself. Finally, the bell rang and I heard kids make their way to the classroom. The sound of footsteps and conversation eased my mind and I smiled as we got down to business.

"Alright everyone," Alli started, "Let's start brain storming again. Our next topic is the economy. The whole world is suffering from the downturn, what are some ways we can help? It's hard to come up with ideas I know, but let's try to think outside of the box! Ok, you have a half hour… go!" She ended with an encouraging smile.

I looked at my friend with pride. She had come such a long way from last year. She was finally coming in to her own and she was so much more confident, I could tell. Not to mention she had her loyal boyfriend, Dave, who was perfect for her. Alli made her way towards me.

"What's with the sad attitude?" Alli asked, nudging my shoulder. My eyes widened slightly, I though I had been hiding my odd feelings pretty well.

"Umm… I don't know what you're talking about…" I lied.

Alli's eyebrows raised, "Clare, you've been my best friend for three years. I think I can tell when you're upset… and when you lie to me about it," she added with a giggle. I sighed. I was about to confess when I saw someone enter the classroom. I looked over and felt myself blush immediately. Get yourself together Clare! Alli looked over to see who caused my reaction.

She looked at me in shock, "Oh no Clare… please don't tell me…" she didn't finish her sentence.

I stuttered helplessly, "What? Don't tell you what?"

"Do you have feelings for Eli again?" she asked cautiously. Before I could process her question, I saw Mr. Perino walk over towards us. He stopped at Eli though,

"Can I help you? Are you a new member of the Model U.N. group?" Mr. Perino questioned.

"Uh no. I'm doing and article on this class for the school newspaper. I have a pass so I can observe today", Eli answered while handing the teacher a slip excusing him from his original class.

"Great, you can take a seat right here," Mr. Perino pointed to an open desk. I watched as he sat down, taking out his notebook and pen. Since when was he part of the newspaper? I'm part of the newspaper… why did I never see him? I could feel Alli's eyes on me, and when I didn't return her gaze, she walked away. I couldn't help myself; I walked over to the desk next to his and sat down. I saw him look up a little and when he saw it was me his eyes jerked back to his paper.

"I didn't know you were part of the school's newspaper", I started.

He cleared his throat, "Yeah… I joined a few months ago", he answered quietly.

I didn't let it go, "How come I never see you around the editing room?"

He looked more uncomfortable with each word I spoke, "I- uh- I usually edit by myself", he said, still not looking at me. I looked at him long and hard. He looked like a statue. I could see a blemish on his ear from the piercing I made him get on our first date. I smiled a little just thinking about the memory.

"So how are you?" I asked tentatively. He sighed and looked up at me in one motion.

"How am I, or how is my mental state?" he asked sharply. As the words left his mouth, he looked like he instantly regretted them. But it shut me up. I fidgeted in the chair and silently counted down the minutes until this class was over. Then I had a free period to escape. The bell rang after what seemed like forever and I shot up out of my seat and walked as fast as I could out of the classroom and out to the school's entry stairs. I stood on the steps clutching my bag and stared at the football team having practice, I wasn't watching though, just thinking. The cold fall air slapped against my cheeks, making them numb and red. I heard someone open the door behind me.

"I'm sorry," I heard the familiar voice start. I turned around and saw him. Eli stood there looking extremely awkward, which was unlike him.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. Obviously you're doing great", I motioned to him as a whole. He really did look good though. His hair was wavier, his eyes seemed brighter, and he looked like an all-together content person. Because I wasn't around anymore. He had _Imogen._ I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at the thought of them together. So cliché.

He laughed nervously, "Don't be mad but you don't see me around the editing room because I purposely avoid you", he said, not looking me in the eye.

I tried not to show the hurt I felt, "W-Why?" I croaked.

He looked disappointed. I didn't know in himself or me, "Because you seemed so happy with how your life was going, I didn't want to ruin something you enjoyed by making it awkward or anything", he confessed. I know I should have paid attention to what he was saying but I stopped listening when he said I looked happy about my life.

"You think I was happy with how my life was going?" I asked in disbelief.

He looked confused, "Yeah?" he answered as more of a question.

I laughed in shock, "Eli, my life is just starting to get on track. My boyfriend, or should I say ex-boyfriend, turned me down when I threw myself at him, my dad didn't want me in his life, neither did my mom, Glen tried to play "father" with me, and I was almost arrested for being involved with a drug dealer who I thought was my only friend!" I practically yelled. I didn't know where my anger was coming from but it was all being brought out on Eli.

He was quiet until I finished my rant, "Well then I guess I'm sorry for getting in your way just when your life was 'back on track'". He replied sarcastically, with his lip curled in anger.

I rolled my eyes as my blood began to boil, "Get off your high horse! You don't have to rub it in my face that your better off then I am!" I yelled. I was happy it was cold out and the windows of the school were closed, otherwise we would have an audience right now.

Eli's eyes widened and he walked closer to me, "Don't be stupid Clare! You have no idea how my life has been. You want to know what's been going on with me? I've had plenty of mental breakdowns as I tried to find the right medication; I dated Imogen before I was ready, broke her camera, insulted her artwork, broke in to my best friend's apartment and scared the _hell_ out of them, and almost pawned my dad's guitar! So don't act like your having the hardest time here Clare, ok? It's been pretty rough on both of us..." he finished with his voice getting lower.

"You and Imogen dated?" I asked. A part of me, maybe a big part of me, felt jealous.

"Uh, yeah. But we're over now. We decided to just be friends", he finished.

I huffed, "But how come we can't just be friends? When we broke up we avoided each other like the plague, but when you break up with Imogen, it's just 'oh let's be friends!'" My voice started to rise again.

"A little reality check Clare, _you_ avoided _me!_ You're the one who broke up with me remember? You're the one who tried to forget about me at all costs!" Eli yelled back at me. I tried to yell back in his face but my voice hitched in my throat. God Clare, please don't cry. This is the worst time to cry! But against my will, hot water filled my eyes and I looked away and sniffed, trying to be discreet. I saw through the blur of tears, Eli's face soften.

"I'm sorry," I whispered", you're happy now and that's all that matters", I tried to walk away.

"Wait, Clare," he took a step towards me and tuned me around",Why are you so convinced that I'm happy as can be?" he asked. I shrugged and tried to advert my eyes. He sighed a closed his eyes, "Well if it's any consolation, I'm not fully happy unless you are," he said in a low voice. I looked up at him. Suddenly an urge to kiss him overcame me. His full soft lips were right in front of me. He looked so warm. I needed to feel comforted some how. As much as I wanted to deny it, this is what I need. _He_ is what I need. Before I could think logically, I leaned in and softly pressed my lips to his. I didn't touch him, didn't press too hard, I just lightly kissed him. He stood stone still as my lips were on his. He didn't wrap his arms around me or cup his warm hands around my cheeks, but he didn't pull away either. He just stood there. I pulled back slowly, my eyes on the concrete steps.

Before I could run away or say anything, he let out a huge breath, "What was that?" he looked like he was in a daze. Suddenly I became extremely self-conscious.

"I'm sorry, I-I-I don't know-" Before I could answer him his lips were back on mine. This time his arms were completely wrapped around my waist, pulling me as close as possible. I didn't mind though. My fingers tangled in his hair, and my lips moved frantically with his, wanting as much of him as I could get. I certainly didn't feel lonely now. Faintly I heard doors open, but I didn't stop to look. I _couldn't _stop, he was like some kind of drug that if I stopped kissing him my knees would give out and my heart would stop. Eli pulled back abruptly though as someone cleared there throat behind us. I almost fell on my face from the sudden shift in position. Eli was standing at least 4 feet away from me now looking at the person who had interrupted. I looked to see who it was and I could literally feel the blood rush to my face. Of all people, _Imogen._

**Okay never mind! When I first started typing this, I thought this was going to be a one shot but damnnn I want this to be a story! Haha. Tell me if I should continue! Thanks **


	2. Friends

**Thank you for the alerts on this story. It makes me feel so good! Sooo do you guys think eclares going to happen again in Frostville? I would cry hysterically if they did. *Sigh* Hope you guys like this chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the characters, etc. **

_Clare's P.O.V._

"Imogen," I heard Eli start, "What are you doing here?"

Imogen crossed her arms, "I was going to ask you the same thing, but now I see you're with Clare Edwards," she said my name like an insult",Ms. Oh noticed you were in school but not in her class and sent me to go looking for you," she finished.

Eli rolled his eyes, "Do you think you could give me a minute?"

"I'm sorry Eli, but I don't think that's a good idea", she answered stubbornly. My eyes widened, who does she think she is?

"Um… its fine Eli, I'll catch up with you later," I said, trying to make it less awkward. Eli sighed but nodded his head. He jogged up the stairs and looked back once as he re-entered the building with Imogen.

I focused on breathing in the cold air as my face flushed bright red. I think this is enough excitement for one day. I walked up the steps to go to the library to study.

School finally ended and I walked quickly to my locker.

"Hey!" I heard Alli chirp, "So where were you for free period? You said you'd be in the library but I couldn't find you…" Alli questioned. I sighed,

"Um, I forgot I had to do… something", I replied lamely. Alli's eyebrow quirked up,

"You had to do something? Does this have anything to do with a certain ex-boyfriend?" Alli smiled knowingly. I sighed. I couldn't just hide it from her. She's my _best_ friend.

"Can you come over today? We can talk about it at my house," I suggested.

"Of course! Let me just get my stuff. I'll meet you outside" and Alli took off to her locker. I hurriedly grabbed my books trying to avoid running into Eli. It's not that I didn't want to talk to him; I just needed girl talk before I went pouring my feelings out.

"Soo… you and Eli? What happened?" Alli questioned enthusiastically. I plopped down next to her on my bed,

"I was outside and he came to apologize to me for being rude… we kind of had a yelling match for a few minutes and… I almost cried," I admitted sheepishly. Alli motioned for me to continue, knowing the story wasn't over, "and we… kissed. Well more like… made out?" I finished, ending the last sentence as more of a question. I looked up and Alli's expression was of pure shock.

"Damnnn! Saint Clare isn't so saintly anymore!" Alli teased. I rolled my eyes,

"Alli, this is serious. Our relationship was so screwed up before and… I don't know what I should do…" I felt so confused and defeated.

"Well first… can you imagine being friends again?"

I thought. I thought of his snarky comments, his smug smirk, his rebel side, his green eyes, our peer editing, his sweet side that only his family and closest friends usually saw. I caught myself smiling when I thought of Eli. Who Eli _really_ was. What made him the guy that made me blush constantly and wish I could rewind and pause time.

"Yeah, I guess I can. I mean we were friends before, I doubt he's changed all that much," I answered.

"Then it's settled for now. Focus on becoming friends again," Alli stated plainly. She was right. We could be friends. It would be like old times. I just hoped to god my hormones didn't get the best of me like they did this afternoon.

Later that evening when Alli had left I decided to ask Eli if we could meet up.

Clare-e23: Hey do you want to meet up tonight to talk?

It took only a short while for Eli to respond.

EliGold49: Sure, I tried looking for you after school but didn't find you

I unconsciously smiled at the message. He wanted to talk too.

Clare-e23: Sorry I was with Alli but can we meet up at the dot in 10

EliGodl-49: Sure see you then.

I rolled back from my chair, grabbed my purse, checked my reflection, and walked down stairs.

"Where you going?" I heard my mom ask from the living room. She was sitting with Jake as he fiddled with his phone.

"I'm going to the Dot to meet up with Eli, it that okay?" I asked politely. I saw my mother's calm expression change.

"Eli? You mean you're boyfriend from last year?" she questioned with authority in her tone. I noticed Jake was tense and staring at me.

"Um... yeah that's him," I said as I walked towards the door. My mom didn't let the subject drop though,

"I didn't know you two were friends again?" she questioned.

"Neither did I…" Jake interrupted.

"Well we are," I snapped. Was it really any of their business? My mother's face tightened,

"Be back by 7:30" she ordered. I rolled my eyes and walked out the door.

I arrived at the Dot a little late but saw Eli hadn't arrived yet. I grabbed us a booth in the back where it was warmer and sat down to wait. Only a few minutes went by when I saw Eli enter the doorway. His dark hair was a wavy mess and I found his pink cheeks endearing.

"Hey Edwards," Eli greeted as he sat down across from me.

"Goldsworthy", I smiled. This was just like last year, and I missed it so much.

"So about this afternoon…" Eli started. I jumped right in,

"I'm so sorry!" I quickly apologized. Eli's face seemed surprised,

"Me too… I guess," he said unsurely. I furrowed my brow,

"You don't regret it?" I asked.

"Well… I don't really know. I mean I want us to be friends again… but that kiss…" he trailed off. I blushed. He was right. That kiss felt _so _right. But we couldn't just forget our past.

"So I think we should be friends," I said simply. He looked at me and smiled.

"Friends" and we both shook on it. I laughed a little.

"What are you laughing at?" Eli asked sweetly.

"I don't know. It's just funny how things work out sometimes," I replied. His usual smirk took place and I didn't realize until now how familiar it was.

Just to please my mom I was back at my house by 7:15. I floated through the doorway still in a daze from how perfect everything was feeling at the moment.

"You're back", I heard Jake state from the living room. He was watching hockey on low volume.

"Yeah… where's my mom and Glen?" I questioned.

"They're at some church thing your mom dragged him to," Jake answered. I laughed shortly, feeling lucky it wasn't me. I was about to make my way up the stairs when Jake started talking again,

"So you and Eli eh?" he asked.

"We're friends. Just friends" I told Jake. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, especially since the only Eli, Jake knew was the jealous scary one.

"Are you sure it's such a good idea?" Jake looked at me blankly. I huffed,

"Jake, I know Eli way better than you do. Just stay out of it", I blurted, and ran up the stairs to my room. I changed into my pajamas and logged onto my computer. As I listened to my music I saw I got a new message.

EliGold49: Hey there _friend_…

I smiled at the message. I had Eli as my friend again. I had a peer editor. I had someone to discuss literature and music with. These things weren't exactly Alli's forte and Adam was more of a video games guy.

Clare-e23: Well hello, _friend_. What are you up to?

EliGold49: Listening to my parents trying to move my couch, you know the usual

Clare-e23: Why don't you help them? Afraid to chip your nail polish?

I giggled at my response.

EliGold49: Oh aren't we clever. I would but I'd rather pretend I have homework and just talk to you instead.

Clare-e23: Well I hate to break it to you, but I actually do have homework so I have to go.

EliGold49: See you in school tomorrow Edwards.

I logged off and found my self, beaming. I slowly stopped smiling and felt that my cheeks hurt. _See you in school tomorrow Edwards. _I looked around to make sure my door was shut and did a little spaz dance. I jumped down on my bed and started on my homework. In the back of my mind, though I would never admit it to myself, I like Eli more then a friend. And I know this is dangerous. And it scared the hell out of me.

**Yeahh…. Tell me if you like it so far! Also if you have any predictions tell me cause I think it would be interesting even though there's not much to the story yet. Thank youuuuuu!**


	3. Lies

**Reviews make me SUPER happy! So does talking about eclare… if anyone wants to rant about them I'm open haha. Enjoyyyy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the characters, etc.**

_Clare's P.O.V_

I walked to school the next morning, hugging my sides as the wind whipped past me. Why can't it just be warm all year? I thought with a shiver. As I entered Degrassi, a wave of warmth wafted over me and I walked to my locker as my nose started to run.

"Need a tissue?" Alli asked as she took out a pack. I took it gratefully,

"Thanks", I paused to blow my nose, "I hate cold weather, once I graduate I'm going moving to California", I laughed.

"I'm following you on that one," Alli replied. We walked to our first period class, computers. I put my bag down and sat on one of the balls.

"So are you going to talk to Eli today?" Alli questioned, her eyes lighting up.

"I already did last night. We're friends again," I said with a smile. Alli pulled me in for a hug,

"I'm so happy for you! Don't I give the best advice?" Alli teased. I didn't respond but rolled my eyes. The bell rang and our class got down to work.

Once class was over, I said goodbye to Alli and started on my way to gym. I laughed mildly as I remembered when I showed Jenna up for making a rumor about me. Then I remembered how Eli was the first and only person to comment on my eyes. I was pulled out of my reverie when Eli himself caught me by the hand to keep me from entering the gymnasium.

"Hey," I said smiling, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd rescue you from P.E. Let's go", he was about to start walking off when I interrupted,

"Like skip?" I asked. Eli chuckled in response,

"We've done it before," he reasoned.

"But that was to finish an English assignment", I argued back.

"I doubt they're going to miss you in gym Clare", he fired back. I sighed. What was the harm in skipping gym class? It's not like I was training to be a professional athlete or anything.

"Alright, where to?" I asked. He didn't answer, just smirked, and ushered me outside the door. He led me to an unfamiliar car.

"Is this yours?" I asked in disbelief. It was a sports car that seemed to be far too expensive for Eli to have paid for.

"Technically it's my dads but he's letting me use it to get to school now that I have my license back… well not fully I mean I have a curfew and all of that crap," Eli explained. He opened the door for me and I slid into the car, admiring the shiny dashboard.

"Alright, so where are we going?" I asked once we drove out of the parking lot.

"We could get coffee and go to the park?" Eli suggested. That seemed like a good enough plan.

We arrived at the park with the hot beverages in our hands. The place was vacant because of the brutally cold weather. Eli led me under a bare tree. The wind started and I sat down gingerly next to him, I moved myself closer as I started to shiver.

"It looks like it's going to snow," Eli commented. He was right; storm clouds were moving in and covering the bright blue sky. I groaned,

"I hate the cold," I whined.

"It's not that bad when you have something to warm you up," he replied. I looked at him. Was he implying something? He had his eyes set on a picnic bench across from us though.

"Remember when we worked on Romeo and Juliet in Ms. Dawes class?" he asked with a smile.

"And I used a water gun as my suicide weapon", I laughed.

"I think poisoning myself with 'a high fructose Cola beverage' was a way more interesting way to die", Eli teased. I laughed at the memory.

"That was our first kiss," Eli mentioned. I thought about it,

"But you said that you led me on", I remembered.

"Sometimes I wonder if I just waited to date you, and we stayed friends for a few more months or maybe even until the summer, then maybe none of this would have happened", he mused. I sometimes wondered that too. Maybe we would have never broken up. Maybe he would never have had those meltdowns. But he would always be bipolar.

"There's no point in thinking what if, we have to learn from our mistakes," I said trying to dismiss these thoughts. Maybe we would _still_ be dating…

Eli cleared his throat, "You're right. We should probably be getting back now," he said while standing up. He started walking to the car as I was scrambling to my feet. I had to run to catch up with him.

"Are you okay?" I asked unsurely. He looked down at me,

"Fine".

It was the end of the day and I was at my locker gathering my things. I had eaten lunch with Alli and Dave. I was hoping to sit with Eli but I couldn't find him anywhere. I was thinking of our conversation in the park. It had me worried, we were both thinking too much about our past. Maybe this couldn't work because we had such a complicated history…

"Edwards!" Eli called out as he walked up to me. He leaned against the locker next to mine and all of my worries vanished.

"Need a ride home?" he asked kindly. I smiled at him,

"Sure thanks", I was grateful for his offer since Eli's prediction had come true and it was snowing heavily outside. We walked to the doors and I put my gloves on and buttoned my coat. I looked at Eli who was dressed in only a light jacket.

"Aren't you going to be cold?" I asked worriedly. Eli chuckled,

"I'll be fine, you're the one who looks like you're about to go skiing," he teased me. I blushed,

"Well I'm not the one who's going to be complaining about how freezing it is", I answered. We walked outside and the snow instantly smacked against my face. I ducked my head low and felt Eli's arm around me as he walked me to his car. He opened the door and I jumped in, desperate to get away from the icy fury. Eli came in on the other side laughing,

"You looked so fragile out there," he commented, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He smirked and drove off. The heat was blasting in the car and so was the radio. Eli's usual screamo music was starting to give me a headache.

"I see your taste in music hasn't changed", I teased.

"Is there anything that has changed about me?" Eli asked. I thought about it,

"You don't where as much black," I decided, "Like you seem to be wearing more brighter clothes… like gray!" I laughed. He looked over and glared at me,

"Haha, very funny," he replied sarcastically. I giggled to myself. We pulled up to my house.

"Do you want to come in?" I offered.

"I can't, if I'm not home with Bullfrog's car I'm dead," Eli replied. I smiled,

"Okay, see you tomorrow," I said and braced myself for the frigid wind. I ran to my porch and quickly opened my door with my key.

"Who was that who drove you home Clare?" I heard my mom question from the kitchen.

"Eli," I said simply as I headed into the kitchen to greet her. My mom sighed and put down her magazine.

"Clare, honey I don't think it's such a good idea for you to be around him again," my mom said with concern. My eyebrows furrowed,

"He's better mom. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and he has meds," I defended.

"Do you remember what happened last year?" she reminded me.

"Of course, but he's doing better mom-"

"I don't want you around him Clare," she said sternly. My eyes widened,

"You don't even know him!" I argued.

"Well Jake's told me enough about him for me to know that I don't want you being around him!"

"You can't tell me who to hang out with!" I yelled.

"Clare if I see you with him you're grounded, and Jake will see you at school so don't even think about it," she warned me. I couldn't believe this. My mom had to be joking. I was fuming as I marched my way up the stairs and slammed my door. I pressed my face against my pillow and screamed as loud as I could. After my anger, subsided tears began to flow. This wasn't fair. We just started to be friends again and already there's a problem.

I awoke the next morning with a stuffy nose and sore eyes from crying. I took one look at the clock though and jumped out of bed. It was 9:00! I already missed first block. I ran down stairs and saw my mom putting down a stack of pancakes for Glen.

"Mom! Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked her frantically.

"Calm down Clare, it's a snow day," my mother replied with a smile. I took a sigh of relief. I _hated_ being late because everyone in the classroom always stares at you when you walk in.

"Do you want some pancakes?" she asked. I nodded,

"Yeah sure,"

"Would you go wake Jake up though? He's slept enough," Glen said. I nodded again and started up the stairs. Jake was the last person I wanted to talk to. Why did he have to tell my mom about Eli last year? Jake doesn't know anything about Eli and what he's really like. I entered Jake's room with out knocking and saw a lump on the bed entangled with blankets.

"Jake!" I said loudly while nudging him. A muffled groan arose from the heap.

"Glen wants you downstairs, get up!" I said.

"No!" he mumbled. I could barely hear him. I huffed stubbornly. Suddenly an idea came to mind.

"Jake get up! We're late for school and your dad's giving us a ride!" One more inaudible groan came out of the blob and he slowly sat up. He got up and started down the stairs leaving me in his room before saying,

"I know we have the day off". I rolled my eyes and followed him down stairs.

I was reading a book in my living room when my phone buzzed.

Eli: Hey, Adam's over my house. How do you feel about a misfits reunion?

I smiled and my fingers flew across my phone's keys.

Clare: Sounds like a plan

Eli: Cool. Meet us at the Dot around 1

I looked at my clock and saw it was 12 right now.

Clare: K, see u then

I ran upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. Once I was ready, it was quarter to 1 so I walked downstairs to leave.

"Hey mom, I'm going to the Dot," I told her.

"Alright who are you meeting there?" she asked, already slightly suspicious. I quickly came up with a lie though,

"Alli, then we may go shopping or something so I'll txt you in about an hour," I lied. My mom sighed and nodded,

"I'll have Jake give you a ride," she offered. My eyes widened. I couldn't risk having Jake see I was meeting Eli, he'd tell my mom.

"No that's alright, really," I tried. My mother just rolled her eyes,

"Clare it's freezing outside, Jake you don't mind right?"

"No it's fine I was thinking of going over to a friends house now anyway," he answered politely. He got up and put his jacket on. It took him about a minute to get his phone and wallet and I waited impatiently by the door. Finally, we drove off to the Dot and I thanked Jake for the ride, hoping he didn't come in or anything.

"No problem, txt me if you need a ride back," I smiled and got out of the car. Once I was inside the café, I immediately spotted the two boys in the back. I walked over and Eli slid in the booth to make room for me.

"Hey guys," I greeted as I took of my many layers.

"Alright so Eli and I were just debating on if you would want to go to Frostville with us. Eli thinks you would have a great time but I said that you hate the cold and wouldn't want to spend your evening freezing your ass off," Adam blurted. He looked at me expectantly as Eli just laughed and shook his head. Adam was so awkward at times.

"Was that your idea of an invitation?" I teased.

"Whatever," Adam said laughing at himself, "Would you want to go?"

"Sure! It's a carnival right? I _love_ carnivals!" I said excitedly.

"Great, then it's settled," Eli said. We spent the next hour and a half eating lunch and having light conversation. Why did we stop hanging out again? I thought to myself.

"Ugh I have to pee," Adam said and he got up from the booth. I rolled my eyes at his blatant attitude. I got out my phone to tell my mom I was going to be home later. I felt bad for going behind her back but I couldn't just stop being friends with someone. Especially when they were a big part of my life.

"Clare texting her mommy?" I heard Eli tease.

"Shut up," I said with out looking up from my phone. I could feel Eli teasingly reading over my shoulder. I quickly tried to exit out of the message where I said I was going shopping with Alli, but he was too quick.

"Why are you lying to your mom?" He asked worriedly. I sighed, it wouldn't help by lying even more.

"She doesn't exactly… approve of… you" I whispered, almost inaudibly. He heard it though. I could tell by the look on his face.

"She thinks I'm a psycho," he stated. I shook my head quickly,

"No! She just… I don't know doesn't want me to be friends with you?" I said it as more of a question.

"She thinks I'm a bad influence or something?" Eli questioned, his face showing hurt.

"I don't know she's… she's just… I don't know! But it's okay, I mean I'm not listening to her," I said trying to make him feel better.

"Clare, maybe we shouldn't be going behind your mom's back, it's wrong," Eli said. This was so unlike him! Since when did he care about my mom? He started to get up to leave. I followed outside into the cold air.

"Eli please!" I begged. I couldn't lose him now. I _couldn't._ He turned around with a sad expression.

"Please! I just got you back! I'm not going to let my mom ruin it," I said stubbornly.

"Your forgetting that your mom's right Clare! I was screwed up last year, and I may be going to therapy now, but I still have a mental disease!" he practically yelled, earning a few odd looks from pedestrians. I walked closer to him,

"You really think I care? Disease or not you're still one of the greatest people I know," I said honestly. He looked at me for a while, finally he spoke,

"You're so naïve," he whispered. I gulped.

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself," I said sternly as I walked closer. The tips of our shoes were touching and his warm breath brushed across my face. I was shivering and I shoved my hands into my pockets. He stared at me square in the eye,

"You have pretty eyes," he said softly.

"I think I've heard that one before," I answered, referring to the first time we met. His face was getting closer and I found that mine was too. Who leaned in first? It didn't matter now, we were centimeters apart, his breath tickling my lips when-

"Um… guys?"

**Ta-da! So Eli got his license back, Clare's mom is a bitch, and Adam is being Adam! Also, I don't live in Toronto, Canada so I don't know if it usually snows in like late October/early November. Sorry if I got it wrong haha. Leave me reviews if you liked it! Even if you didn't tell me what I could have done better! Thanksss!**


	4. A New Secret

**Wow, I'm updating again! Because I have no life… yay! You guys are sooo nice! So I'm just wondering does anyone have predictions to what's going to happen in the real show? Like with Frostville… and even Drew and Bianca cause I have no idea what's going on there. Also, I'm adding just a tiny but of Eli's P.O.V. Ok enough talking…. Enjoyyyy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the characters, etc.**

_Clare's P.O.V_

I quickly pulled away and felt Eli do the same.

"Sorry um… am I interrupting something?" Adam asked cautiously.

"No! No… I was just seeing if Clare um… had anything in her eye cause her eye was… watering…" Eli said, making it pretty obvious that it was a lie.

"Right… I'm gonna go now, can you give me a ride man?" Adam asked Eli. Eli nodded,

"Yeah sure, Clare I can give you a ride home too," he suggested. I nodded still speechless. We piled into the car; I had to squish so Adam could fit since there were no back seats. We drove in silence; Eli didn't even put the radio on. Once we arrived at Adam's house he jumped out of the car like it was on fire.

"I'll uh- see you guys tomorrow," Adam said and he ran into his house without a glance back.

"What was that?" I asked, once I found my voice.

"Adam saying goodbye?" Eli said trying to avoid what was coming.

"You know what I'm talking about Eli. We were about to kiss!" I watched for a response but Eli just kept his eyes on the road.

"Eli friends don't kiss each other," I stated, trying to get my point across.

"Look I understand that, I just… _we _just, got caught in the moment," he explained. I felt a surge of emotions cross over me. Why couldn't we just admit to ourselves that we wanted to be more than friends? I decided to put my foot down,

"Eli I'm going to be honest. I wanted to kiss you. I-I feel like myself when I'm around you and when I'm thinking about you I don't feel so empty and alone," I confessed. I heard him take a deep breath.

"Clare we can't go down this road again," he answered sadly. I felt my face get red and my eyes sting,

"Why not? Eli we're older, you're getting help, and I see the world more clearly now… We can do this," I tried convincing.

"Clare I don't know if _I_ can handle being in another relationship again already… Imogen and I are still friends but this is _you_. You're different. I don't want to destroy each other again because I wasn't ready," he said shakily. I stared at him. All I wanted to do was kiss him. He looked so vulnerable. His skin looked soft and his eyes were piercing threw the windshield.

"Don't take me home," I ordered.

"Where do you want me to take you?" he questioned.

"Anywhere".

We ended up arriving at the park for the second time that week. We both got out and started walking down the paved path, surrounded by the bare trees. We went farther into the park where the streets had disappeared from view. There were little kids having snowball fights on the playground. There was barely any snow left though, weird weather. I stopped Eli from walking.

"Eli look at me" I commanded. He hesitantly picked his head up and locked his eyes with mine. I gave him no warning and pulled his head down to me. I paused for a split second, to saver our closeness and then pressed my lips to his. Our lips moved in synchronization. He lifted his hand to cup my cheek and I rubbed my hands on the back of his neck. He broke away to look at me. I bit my lip nervously. This was our last kiss. He was going to walk away and never speak to me again. Because we can't work. He grabbed my hand in the middle of my thoughts and pulled me over to a tree. We were hidden by large evergreen bushes.

Before I could process anything, his lips met mine again. I gasped at the surprise. He wasn't running away. He wasn't telling me that this wasn't right. This was real. I wasted no time and ran my fingers through his hair. He backed me up against a tree and lifted me up a bit, so I could be above him. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed his face as close to mine as possible. I pulled back to breathe. Cold air rushed into my lungs. To my surprise, I felt Eli giving my kiss on my neck. I closed my eyes. How was he so _good _at this? And how had I forgotten? I felt his teeth graze against my skin and against my will, my breath hitched in my throat. He stopped and looked up at me with his smug smirk.

"You okay there Edwards?" he asked in a seductive tone I don't think I've heard before.

"Never better Goldsworthy," I replied. I tried to look like I'd done this plenty of times before, but it was pretty obvious I hadn't. We just gazed at each other. His arms wound tightly around my waist, and my arms around his neck.

"What is this?" he asked, referring to what we had just done.

"I don't even know. Why can't things be simple?" I asked rhetorically. He chuckled darkly,

"Things are never simple. You should know that". I sighed and rested my head on his chest.

"I should get you home," he said. I nodded,

"Just drop me off a few houses down from mine," I requested. He raised an eyebrow,

"If my mom finds out about any of this, I'm dead," I explained.

"So… are we supposed to make some cliché plan to sneak around behind your mom's back?" Eli teased. I laughed,

"It seems so" I answered, not really joking though. We made our way back to his car. As we pulled up a few houses down from mine, I saw Jake's car pull into the driveway.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I unbuckled my seat belt. Eli leaned in but not far enough to kiss.

"Guess you will," he said with a smirk and slid back into his seat. I shook my head and got out of the car. Something about what he said seemed familiar. I made my way down the sidewalk and caught Jake's attention.

"Hey Clare, thought you were going shopping or something?" Jake asked.

"I did, with Alli," I lied.

"Where are the shopping bags then?" he motioned to my empty hands. Heat rushed to my face,

"Oh… I didn't find anything good…" I covered up.

"I didn't even know it was possible for a girl to go shopping and come back empty handed," Jake chuckled at his own lame joke. I rolled my eyes. I saw Eli drive past to go home.

"Whoa that was a sick car!" Jake admired. I smiled to myself. And it's Eli's car, I thought. I made my way inside and was greeted by Glen watching a football game.

"Hey Clare, your mom went out grocery shopping. She said she'll be back around five," he told me.

"Okay. Thanks," I answered and made my way to my room. So what _is_ going on with me and Eli? All I know is that I didn't want it to end. I smiled to myself and flopped on my bed. It wasn't perfect but I liked it. There was something… sexy about sneaking around. I'd lived a sheltered life and went through a lot with my parents divorce. But this wasn't to prove a point or to get attention. This was for me, my own enjoyment. I rolled onto my stomach and propped my head up on my hand.

Suddenly my phone went off with an incoming text.

Alli: Sooo how was your snow day?

I debated whether or not I should tell her about me and Eli. We were best friends but would she freak out? I decided to tell her. She's Alli, freaking out is what she does.

Clare: Pretty hot ;-)

I laughed at my text. I figured I'd mess around with her first. Her next text came at lightening speed.

Alli: Tell me what happened NOW

I sighed. This was going to take a while.

Clare: Long story short Eli and I kissed again but we're not dating

Alli: Saint Clare are you friends with benefits ;-)

I rolled my eyes. Was that the term for it? Eli and I had a deeper connection though. At least I hoped.

Clare: I'll explain tomorrow

The next day I was ambushed.

"Tell me everything now," Alli ordered right when she saw me enter the building. I sighed and gathered my thoughts,

"Basically Eli and I were hanging out, we realized we couldn't _just_ be friends, and we ended up… kissing," I said raising my eyebrows as I tried to imply more. Alli got the hint and held her hand up for a high five. I rolled my eyes but gave her a light slap anyway.

"Jeez Clare, you just keep on surprising me," Alli said with a smile. I laughed a little,

"You can't tell _anyone_ though Alli, I mean it," I warned her. If one person found out everyone would find out and that meant Jake. Alli pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key.

"So can we hang after school today? I need some girl time," Alli requested.

"Yeah of course!" I said as I bumped her with my shoulder.

And with that, we made our way to computer class.

_Eli's P.O.V_

I was at my locker when Adam ran up to me.

"So what was that yesterday?" he asked immediately. I pretended not to understand,

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I said with a smirk. Adam just rolled his eyes. Not in a good mood, like I was.

"Eli seriously. You and Clare about to kiss… Am I going to become the third wheel again?" he asked hesitantly. It was my turn to roll my eyes,

"No Adam. We just… I don't, know nothing happened," I lied. I don't know why but I wanted to keep this to myself. I trusted Adam but I felt that if I told anyone it wouldn't be as special. Adam leaned against a locker,

"Why don't I believe you?" Adam questioned. I sighed,

"How would I know?" and I started off to my next class with Adam walking next to me still eyeing me suspiciously.

_Clare's P.O.V._

It was lunchtime and I told Alli that I'd be sitting with Adam and Eli today. I spotted both of them at the far end of the cafeteria,

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"Not at all," Eli answered with a smirk. I saw Adam roll his eyes in disgust,

"You okay?" I asked him uncertainly.

"Adam's just mad that I won't let him borrow a comic book," Eli jumped in. Adam looked at Eli and sighed,

"Yeah… whatever," he said unenthusiastically. I was confused, what was his problem?

"Anyway tonight Degrassi's hosting a battle of the bands. Do you guys want to go?" Eli asked excitedly. I couldn't help but smile at his cute enthusiasm.

"I'd love to," I answered. I thought about the plans I had made with Alli though, "Do you mind if Alli tags along?" I asked hopefully. Adam and Eli both looked at me like I was insane. They weren't fans of Alli.

"Please. I already said I would hang out with her tonight, so she should just come with us…. I'll tell her she should bring Dave too!" I added. Adam groaned,

"So I can be the 5th wheel?" he whined. My eyes widened in shock. He knew? It wasn't like we were a couple… I saw Eli's leg jerk in Adam's general direction and Adam stifled a yelp.

"Just kidding… this should be so much fun…" Adam said unenthusiastically. I laughed nervously. I prayed to God Adam wouldn't tell anyone about Eli and I if he really did know.

After school, Eli caught up with me in the parking lot.

"Need a ride home?" he offered.

"Sure thanks. So… does Adam know?" I asked. Eli shook his head,

"No… he's just convinced that we're going to be flirting non-stop," Eli replied with a laugh. I let out a sigh of relief,

"Thank God!" Eli laughed again,

"You know you can trust me Edwards," he teased. I nudged him playfully before getting into the car. Already excited about tonight.

**Sexy times with Eclare! Don't worry I'll keep things pg-13 haha. Hope you liked this chapter, I'm really excited to write the next! Reviews are lovely! Thank youuu!**


	5. The Truth

**The next chapter is here! I'm super sorry it took so long, I'm SUPER busy this week. But I did it. Sorry if it isn't good. I promise the exciting stuff is on it's way. Also anyone here about the plotlines for the season finale? Sooooo excited!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the characters, etc. **

_Clare's P.O.V._

I waited impatiently to get a text from Eli. He said he would tell me when he was near my house, so I could tell my mom I was walking to the battle of the bands. I walked over to the mirror to see how I looked, jeans, t-shirt/sweater, curled hair, good make-up… I was ready. I paced the floor back and forth. Why was I feeling so nervous? I was just going to a school-sanctioned event with my friends. With Eli. Was this a date? No, we're not even together, we're just….complicated. I sighed loudly as I sat at the edge of my bed. Right as I did so, my phone started to vibrate. I looked down at the text I just received,

Eli: Hey, I'm parked a few houses away

Clare: I'm coming

I replied. I shot up and dashed out of my room. I said goodbye to my mom and ran out the door. I could see Eli's car a few houses down like he said. I walked over and tapped on the window, making him jump.

"Are you ready to rock, Clare Edwards?" Eli asked sarcastically. I laughed,

"Definitely, I'm gonna be head banging all night", I replied.

"I have to pick up Adam, so you guys are going to have to squeeze in the seat again," Eli said as we pulled onto Adam's street. We saw Adam bounding out of the house and trip over a sidewalk crack. I giggled lightly. He opened the door and slid in. I was halfway off the seat and was brushing against Eli's arm. I sighed as we drove away to Degrassi.

The auditorium was filled with students and the stage was being set up for the performing local bands. I split from Eli and Adam so I could find Alli. I eventually spotted her with Dave.

"Hey Alli," I greeted her.

"Clare! Aren't you so excited? This is going to be so much fun!" Alli squealed as Dave rolled his eyes and her giddiness.

"Sure, Alli," I laughed.

"Well you should go find Adam and _Eli_," Alli offered, drawling out Eli's name. I glared at her playfully and walked off. While I searched the crowd for my two friends, the lights dimmed and the speakers buzzed.

"Students of Toronto, I'd like to introduce to you our first band, The Artists!" an enthusiastic man yelled into the microphone. I flinched from the loudness of his voice. Finally, I found Adam near the stage next to Eli.

"Is Alli here?" Adam yelled over the band that was starting their first song.

"Yeah, but she's with Dave," I answered as I turned my body to face the performers.

I glanced at Eli and saw he was already looking at me. I blushed and turned towards the band again. People started to stand up and move more towards the stage. I was being pushed forward and unfamiliar people pressed up against me. I felt someone's hands on my waist and looked up to see Eli. He smirked slightly as I glanced at Adam to see he was too involved in the music to notice. This wasn't right. Eli and I weren't _together_, whatever this was, needed to stop. His hands felt so secure though. They kept me anchored to him in the wave of people. The bass was loud and vibrating off the walls and it seemed to enter my brain and jumble my thoughts. I felt Eli's lips on my neck, which caused me to completely lose focus of anything. What was I thinking about? It was too late now; I came back to reality as Eli was leading me by my hand, out into the dark hallway.

I felt him come closer, though I couldn't see anything but his silhouette in the faint light coming from outside. I could hear the muffled sounds from the auditorium being carried out to the empty, quiet hallway. He held me close, his face just inches from mine. He made no move to close the distance though. I couldn't see anything, but he seemed so desirable at that moment. My past thoughts that had been taunting my mind were all but tossed out the window by now. How could I remember, when he was so _close, _with his breath ticklingmy nose.

With out a second thought I closed the gap between us. His lips moved fast on mine and I was overcome with an unknown sensation. I tugged hard at his hair and he backed me up into the cold lockers. I kissed him hungrily and his hands found my waist. He then moved his lips down to the crook of my neck and I gasped. I leaned against the lockers heavily and held him close.

"Eli…" I tried to get out. He didn't stop but I continued anyway, "Someone could walk in here any minute", I tried. My mind was telling me to go back to the concert before we were caught, but the rest of me, the more dominant part, was saying to stay here in his arms. Eli didn't even hesitate and continued to concentrate on my neck. The longer he held me there, the more my mind shut off. Eventually I gave up and surrendered to my lustful feelings that Eli was bringing on. I brought his lips back up to kiss him.

As his hands cupped my face, I heard a door slam and footsteps. I barely had enough time to push Eli off of me and face whoever it was that caught us. I looked over and saw a shocked and repulsed Adam.

"Adam…" Eli stated in shock. Adam turned around and headed straight for the other direction,

"Sorry," I heard him mumble as he tried to escape. I locked eyes with Eli,

"Do you think he's gonna tell?" I whispered. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Eli shrugged,

"I'll talk to him", he answered. As he walked to find Adam, I was frozen at the lockers. What if Jake found out? I would be grounded for the rest of my life for betraying and lying to my mom. I sighed anxiously and followed after Eli.

"Adam, wait!" I heard Eli yell after his retreating friend. Eli caught up to him and spun him around,

"Look I'm sorry…" Adam started. Eli shook his head,

"I wanted to tell you, but Jake can't know cause he's basically Clare's mom's watch dog…" he said jokingly. Adam shook his head, smiling and he spotted me behind them.

"So… you two a thing again?" Adam asked as I made my way over. I looked at Eli,

"We haven't really gotten that far", I answered.

"Well your secret's safe with me," Adam offered. I let out a breath of relief.

"So, I don't know about anyone else, but I paid 5 bucks to watch Toronto's mediocre bands, and I'm missing out on it", Eli said as he made his way back in to the auditorium with Adam and I in toe.

A week had gone by. Eli and I had still avoided the conversation of what we really were. My mind was filled with him at all times. I continuously worried about how he felt about me and how my mom would take it if I did actually date him. But we weren't dating, so I guess I have nothing to worry about.

On a late Sunday afternoon, I lay in my bed working on my history essay. My phone buzzed which signaled a text,

Eli: My parents are out

I rolled my eyes. Was this his form of an invitation?

Clare: you're point?

I replied sarcastically.

Eli: come over in 10?

I laughed. I kind of liked sneaking around. It made me feel a sense of rebellion.

Clare: sure

I shot up from my bed, through on a pair of shoes and touched up my hair. I was about to bolt out my door when I remembered Chap Stick. This cold weather wasn't the best for my lips especially when I had been _using _them more than usual. I ran downstairs to find my mother just entering the house with groceries.

"Oh Clare, where are you heading out to?" my mother asked innocently.

"Uh- Alli's. We're working on a history assignment together", I lied. Lying had become much more easier than it had been.

"Alright, be home before six", she requested. With that, I made my way over to Eli's house.

I gingerly took my hand out of my pocket and knocked on the door. It took a minute or two to open, but eventually Eli stood in front of me, his hair askew.

"Hey", he greeted me as he held the door open. I made my way inside. It had been such a long time since I had been in his house.

"Hello," I said while turning around to face him. He took a step closer and as if on cue, we both leaned in. This was getting to be a routine. We made our way to his room and continued from there.

I peaked a glance at my watch and saw it was five. I still have an hour, I thought lazily as I brought my lips to Eli's once again. I was laying in his bed as he hovered over me when the door flew open. I sat up abruptly, while Eli quickly stood up. I couldn't believe my eyes. Our intruder was no other but-

"Imogen!" Eli blurted, his cheeks blushing profusely. Imogen had her hand smacked over her eyes as she stood frozen in the doorway.

"You're dad told me to come up…" Imogen mumbled feebly. Wait… since when were his parents home? I thought. Eli smacked his forehead.

"Look Imogen-" Eli started while ruffling his hair.

"Do you mind if I speak to Clare alone?" she asked innocently. My eyes widened. God no. Please! She was going to get all creepy on me. Eli shrugged though, obviously happy to get out of the situation. He left the room with one apologetic glance at me. I tried to sit up straighter, as she made her way towards me.

"How long has this been going on for?" she asked sternly. I shrugged,

"A month… maybe," I responded, unsteadily.

"Are you two a couple?" she interrogated. I shrugged again,

"We haven't really talked about it," I admitted. She rolled her eyes,

"Well here's a little news flash for you, Eli is bi-polar. You know that, and just because you're not exactly emotionally attached or whatever doesn't mean that he won't end up hurt," Imogen lectured", you already screwed him up once. Why do you have to do it again?" I gasped,

"Look he wasn't the only one who came out of that relationship scarred okay? I was hurt too. I'm still hurting! I really like him. And I know you don't like me but please… you can't tell anyone about this", I pleaded.

"Why not? Embarrassed?" she sneered. I shook my head stubbornly,

"Not at all. My mom isn't exactly Eli's biggest fan", I sighed. Imogen glared at me,

"So you're going behind your mom's back?"

"I guess. I mean, I don't think I could just let him go," I thought about it for a moment, "I can't let him go", I concluded. Imogen sighed her eyes softening.

"So you like him._ Great_," she said sarcastically. I smiled a bit. A thought occurred though.

"Imogen don't tell him that," I said. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't think either of us are ready to be in a real relationship yet," I explained.

"So you're okay with sleeping with him, but you can't be a couple?" she fired back, anger in her voice once again. My cheeks were on fire.

"We're not… sleeping together!" I whispered the last part, "Not even close!" I concluded. Jeez, this girl was insane. I mean… I'm _Clare Edwards. _Imogen let out a sigh of relief,

"Fine. _Both _of your secrets are safe with me," she said, calm once more. I smiled,

"Thanks Imogen," I said gratefully.

"Whatever just don't let me catch you two making out again", she answered, while walking out the door. I sat on the edge of Eli's bed, and prayed to God, no one else found out.


End file.
